Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A Poem for Hannah

This is a poem that I wrote just before we left China. I don't know that it is finished, or if you will care, but I wanted to post it anyway. Enjoy!


What was it like…
On the day you were born
To a mother with love so deep
That she was willing to give you up?

Was she young? Was she poor?
Was she just out of hope?
Why wasn’t she able
To give you a name?
Did she know we were praying,
That we’d give you a home?
Did she know that there was someone
Who’d love you as their own?

What was it like…
When they found you there?
Crying and hungry?
Scared and confused?
Was there someone to comfort you,
To hold your sweet hands?
Did they swaddle you tightly
And give you a meal?

What was it like…
In your foster care home?
Did they sing and tell stories
And bounce you on their knees?
Did they look into your beautiful eyes,
Or melt when you smiled?
Did they play Peek-a-boo
Or tickle your belly?

I guess what I’m really asking is…
Did they love you like we do?

What was it like…
On that first Christmas Eve
When you got bundled up
And got ready to leave?
When you and your playmates
Came into that room
And they called you by name
And your whole life changed?

What is it like…
To be given away,
To go live with people
Who aren’t like you?
Who sound funny?
Who smell funny?
Who look funny?
Who dress funny?
Who think they are funny…
But aren’t?

Who call you a name
That isn’t your own
And don’t know your likes
And what each cry means?

What is it like…
To wonder each day
If the next place you go
Is to be given away?

What is it like…
To try to adjust
To a totally new family-
To love and to trust?

What is it like…
When you start to understand
That maybe…just maybe
This is going to be okay?

What will it be like…
To get on that plane
To leave the only place you’ve ever known
To go to a far away place that is your new home?
To leave behind culture, history and art
As well as pollution, poverty and pain?

What will it be like…
When you see your pet cat?
To play in the yard
To ride in our car?
To have your own room
And toys all your own?
To become an American
For better or worse?

To go to church
And meet your new friends?
To eat at new restaurants
And to see your first movie?

What will it be like…
As you grow older and see
That the world is a place
That can sometimes be mean?
When playmates are hurtful
Or ignorant or rude?
When well-meaning adults
Show their prejudiced attitudes?

What will it be like…
To live in two worlds?
To understand what has happened
And not feel to blame?
To always be different
From everyone else?
To deal with the stares
and the questions they ask?

What will it be like...
To believe in yourself?
To grow up with hope
And a future that's bright?

What will it be like...
To know that God made you
Especially for us?
To know you were prayed for
Since before you were born?
To have a place
In His heart and ours?
To know His love
Perfect and pure?

What will it be like...
None of us knows.
But the God who has joined us
Will sustain us
And help us
And love us
And heal us.

And maybe, just maybe
On a day yet to be
You'll look back at our life
And then you will see
The thing that we already feel.
You are special.
You are loved.
You are ours.


Anonymous said...

Very well put. That was awesome. - I am Beth and have been following your journey. I am a friend of Gina Farmer... she was in your travel group. My husband and I adopted our daughter, Katie, almost one year ago through CHI. It has been the best year of my life.

Anonymous said...

Your poem gives someone like me - looking from the sidelines - a chance to feel a little bit of the emotions, thoughts and hopes of your adoption journey. I really think you should publish your blog into a book!!!

Marie - at Mary Kendall Adoption Program